no matter what happened spiritually there was one place i always felt at home, a place that helped me move from knowing i didn’t believe in a god lord of us all almighty the god of patriarchy and hierarchy the lord over us or the jesus who had to die to save us wretches
it was the circle of womyn once a month and there often in this circle was mona a reverend a hebrew bible scholar of all things yet she was much more open to the divine feminine as we chased after her month after month finding her in the bible sometimes other times in the virgin of guadalupe and quan yin and other goddesses ah, to dance with the goddesses and sometimes we discovered her right in our own hearts and hands as we chanted or burned away all our old notions or carefully traced our own hands like school gyrls, then writing the power we possessed in the past on one and the power for the future on the other i would not only participate
but help lead sometimes with meditations other times readings and often craft projects like making power pouches the type native americans would carry well, in a modern-sort-of-way through it all mona and i and others who led would discover that we could let go of our plan – the one we were taught to have to make sure everything would go all right – and just allow the spirit to work her magic – even if it wasn’t in our plan nothing could have been a more profound lesson it would prepare me
for the ultimate womyn’s worship the day we entered the sweat lodge it was a steamy texas july day and 30 womyn were prepared to enter in groups of six a cement and wooden womb of mother earth where red hot rocks would be washed in water sending our steamy prayers to the creator it seemed mad to those who don’t like a drop of sweat much less mother earth caking with sweat against their flesh as we invited in the four directions
our helper guides the great mystery and whoever else wandered along jesus was there we sweated and here as we sweated barely able to breathe we prayed first to the east for clarity as the eagle soars above as the sun rises then south for right relationships and growth as the trickster coyote circles us then west we ask to learn the rhythm of life as we watch bear hibernate with the setting sun and finally we thank all creation for her abundance as we see buffalo feed her people who honor her in return it is a day that changed me for i led two of these sweats and the words they flowed to me like a cool stream over my tongue even though i never ever had set foot in a lodge before at least in this lifetime and i knew
that this was my holy space hugging mother earth as all pretense was washed away with sweat and i knew it was enough to be alive it was easy talking unlike any public speaking i’d ever done before it was from all of me fully connected into the divine at last |